Happy 1st Birthday Nolan

He's officially 1! That is CRAZY! My baby boy is one...it even sounds funny to say. When I look back it seems that the last year has gone so quickly until I think about exactly one year ago today...well, actually one year ago yesterday when he should have been born:) (Little stinker gave mommy a nice, hard, long labor but it was worth every second!) So Sept 19 turned into the magical day that we had started counting down to on August 26th, 2009.

Starting at 5:52am, one year ago today, I felt every emotion that is out there. It all started with..."IT'S A BOY!" Followed by a nice loud scream from Nolan that I had prayed so hard for. The emotional rollercoaster ride (that I had already been on for much too long prior to even giving birth) started with joy, excitement, pure happiness, adrenaline rushes, nervousness, anxiousness and it quickly turned into a feeling of helplessness. Right after Nolan was born he was swept away to the "angels" in the NICU. We didn't get to go see him for about an hour. In the meantime we thought that when we'd get there that everything would be great, I mean he came out screaming like a madman, his lungs were nice and healthy! Nope. I will never ever ever ever forget the first time we saw Nolan in the NICU. He was having so much trouble breathing. The nurse was giving us so much information and spoke to us for about ten minutes but I didn't hear one single word. I just stared at my baby who needed me to hold him because he couldn't breath well. Literally he couldn't breath on his own. I remember holding his hand through the arm hole of the isolette and them asking me to stop touching him. First they tell me that I can't hold him and now you are telling me that I can't touch him? I wasn't sure I was ready for this but we sure didn't have a choice.

And you all know the rest of the story. It's crazy how clear it all is in my head. Every detail about it. After about one week, after we got over the shell shock of being in the NICU with Nolan, we started to realize that indeed we were the lucky ones that were there. Nolan was going to be perfectly fine, he just needed some time. He sure took his time but one month later, home we went, right where he should be.

One year ago today I didn't know what to think, and now one year later I don't have time to think! I never would have imagined my life would be like it is today. We are lucky. I know I say it all of the time, but it's true. The everyday craziness of our life is unexplainable...it's what life is all about. I'm glad that our rollercoaster ride has temporarily let us get off but I've learned that I sure need to keep my seat belt on because time is cruising by! I sure hope it slows down so I don't miss anything.

Happy Birthday Nolan.




It's really hard to believe that this is Nolan one year ago. It truly is hard to believe. We would have to leave the hospital every night with him laying there like this. It was absolutely heart wrenching. I always hoped and prayed that the nurses were taking good care of my baby while we weren't there. What a feeling it was to finally take him home with us. There is no place like home.